That's right, cleaning house! My parents came up here recently from Texas to clean out their storage units. There was a lot of stuff from years past that just sat for some years now. Things that we forgot about. Things we couldn't wait to get back to. My parents' time here was very short...and very physical. They were hoping to get everything out, whether they load it up and drive it to Texas or chuck it. As you can see, I received a good bit of it, but not nearly enough to really relieve my parents.Long story short, they will have to come back up here to sort out the last bit.
I've been contemplating on stuff. There is such an abundance of stuff. I moved into my house 3 years ago with almost nothing, and now I'm needing to regularly get rid of stuff so it doesn't overflow! It's not even like I bought everything, either! Most of what I have was given to me or I found it. Some of it was bought from the thrift store or on sale somewhere.
I've also been thinking about how attached to our stuff we get, even if we haven't used it or seen it in years. As I went through the boxes with my parents, I was reminded of my youthful days (yes they seem so long ago!). It was also a reminder to me for our constant need to clean. If we don't keep up with our housework, our homes could get so gross to the point of being uninhabitable.
Funny how this correlates with our hearts and our spirits. We get so wound up in things that end up clouding our vision and making it hard to remember the goal. I can't tell you how many times I set my mind to do something, only to have something(s) get in the way and I lose my direction. This could be why I never finished school?! If we don't continue to clean house, we will become extremely busy and without true purpose. Hence, the last 5 years of my life...
Something else happened to me recently to make me ponder things I should have thought about before. I lost my job on Saturday. Never have I been fired from a job until this year. I got fired twice in the same year! When I do things, I DO things!!! Nevertheless, this has hit me pretty hard. I'm feeling useless and like a big loser. Maybe I am? But, thank God, I'm able to think about things differently. Maybe that could mean some growth?
Every time something major happens, it happens around the time my kids are coming to visit. I've been praying for a good job that allows me to have the time I need with them, allows me to make it to church on Sundays, and will allow me to keep my bills current and pay off my debts. Would be even better if I could just receive money and just do what I want to do! I don't need a job, I have plenty of things to do...I just need money to get out of debt and buy food!
If I get a new job now, I wouldn't have enough time to save up for a sitter (or request time off) when my kids come for Thanksgiving. If I remain income-less...well, I would rather not think about it! This has been the pattern of things, since getting separated (and eventually divorced) from my husband. I feel like I'm always 3 steps behind and when I feel like I'm making progress, doors slam in my face (now I'll never be a teen model!).
Also made me think about a devotional I read not too long ago. The author talked about how her life was great and how close a relationship she had with God. How she was able to hear Him clearly regarding the plans for her life. She stayed in communication with Him and she was trusting in Him. Then one day, her world came crashing down. What happened? She came to the point to realize that she wasn't obeying God's plan for her...she was obeying what she instilled as God's plan, but it was really her own.
I do that a lot, I've come to realize. I feel like something is going to be such a great idea and benefit myself and my kiddos, only to later learn otherwise (when it implodes/explodes/crashes/insert other destructive word here). Maybe a job is not what I'm supposed to do right now. Maybe I need to just wait a little longer for the right one to come along (stop fighting so hard for it). I don't know which is true or if there is another answer.
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I will stick with my direct-selling businesses for now and maybe go ahead and start that accessory business I've been thinking about for a long time. Or even get back into selling cheesecakes. As I've said before, I have plenty of things to do! I just need to know what I should be doing! Heaven help the poor man that marries me (if I get married again)!
