I am a worrier. There. I said it. Phew! I can rest easy now right?!
I worry about so much. And I worry about worrying sometimes. I don't really put a whole lot of thought into my worry until it becomes full-blown anxiety. I worry about finances. Food. Cleaning the house. My job. My kids. My husband. Our health. The need to lose weight. What we need and don't have. What we have and don't need. I could keep going for probably all of eternity.
I have recently been reminded (because I have "learned" this already) that worry and anxiety (and even depression) usually arise from the need for control. *GASP!* My husband is probably the only person who will tell you that I have control issues. *GASP!* Most people see me as hardworking, organized, blah, blah, blah. He knows me pretty dang well.
While I'm not the most organized person ever, and can't say I'm the cleanest person ever, I spend so much time thinking about what will be and how I'm going to be prepared for it. I lose so much now time, right here time, because I'm living years into the future. It's kinda like how people binge-buy toilet paper, milk, and bread while preparing to get through a disaster. It's not that everybody needs such large quantities of these things at the same time (large families do, though even when not disaster-prepping), but it's something they feel they can control. I think ahead, plan ahead, prep ahead. I can solve problems you didn't know you had. I've already packed a few extra things in my bag when I head out.
It's not wrong to think ahead and plan ahead. When it comes to emergency situations, it is advised to think of strange "what-if" scenarios so that you may be prepared to act accordingly. People who don't think about the "what-ifs" are less likely to respond appropriately in an emergency. This is why we have fire drills and talk to kids about how to be safe around strangers. If you don't think about it, you're not as likely to make the right choices.
So, how exactly do we keep worry in check?
Heh. That's the tricky part if you're a worry-wart like me. I can't help but be convicted of my worry after reading Matthew 6. The last 10 verses are all about worry. The birds don't go storing up food in barns (or their fridges) like we do, yet they don't go hungry. Flowers don't go shopping and they don't sew, yet they are clothed in beauty. You are so much more important to God than the birds and the flowers. Why are you so high-strung?! Yes, we need to earn money to be able to buy food and clothes. No, we don't need to stress over it. Yes, there are things we need to do to prepare for emergencies. No, we don't need to live in fear of what is not guaranteed to happen.
Well, I'm sure this all sounds good from some lady in the virtual interwebs who's got her life together and can talk about stuff that doesn't matter anymore.
Ha! I'm not just some lady in the interwebs. I'm THE lady still struggling daily. It will probably be one of the many few things I will be fighting in this life for the rest of my life. And it's not like I don't have proof in my own life that I'm taken care of (outside of my own control). I've got countless examples of how I held the world on my shoulders only for the solutions to not come from my own hands.
What's something you've stressed over, only for it to turn out to not be as bad as you thought? Or for it to be resolved without your help?
Will you try to trust that not everything is under your control? Can you let go (even just a little bit)? If you're struggling with this, I urge you to talk to a friend about it. You can't carry it by yourself (which is something us worriers tend to do). Find someone whom you can trust, who will love you as you are, and work to help you be better. Without judgment.
You can even write it into your calendar so that you'll actually follow through. *wink*
