The Unknown...

We all want to be prepared for the future, right?! Well, as much as we plan and prepare and make notes, etc., the future will be what it will be. Sometimes, our dreams don't come true. Sometimes, our minds change. We can't look at everything as a disaster, but we have to try and keep in mind that everything happens for a reason...and that all things work together for the greater good.

These are tough words to live by, I know. In the midst of difficulties, I struggle with remembering that I'm not in control of my life (though I like to think I am sometimes). God is. He takes the good things and the bad things and use them to grow me stronger. Better. And ultimately closer to Him.

I know this is my frugal, money-saving blog, but I've been away for a while for a pretty big reason. My ex-husband has recently announced his plan to move to Florida and his desire to take all three of my children with him. This isn't something that has taken months to think about or work out. I just found out two weeks ago. His plan is to move down there at the beginning of next week. He's even already registered my girls in school down there.

I have to say that I've been devastated. I have been fighting for a balance in my children's lives...the chance for them to be together, but have equal opportunity to spend with their father and myself. Every step along the way, I've been met with absolute opposition. It has only been recently, when he's decided to move, that he's been approaching me differently. I don't know whether to believe his sincerity or learn from the previous lessons of being ambushed.

Tomorrow, we have a hearing at 2pm. I can't speak for my ex-husband. I can only go off of what he says and does. He claims that he has their best interests at heart, but based on his previous actions, I can see otherwise. I love my children dearly and have lost time with them for the sake of keeping peace. I would do anything for their sake, but I wouldn't give them up so easily.

I wouldn't ask anything of you, other than to pray. Pray for wisdom on my behalf, on my ex-husband's behalf, and on the judge's behalf. Pray for justice, for peace. Pray for a decision that would truly be the best solution for my children (not just what I speculate and not just what my ex-husband speculates). And above all, pray that whatever the outcome, both my ex-husband and myself can be satisfied with that.

The fight over child custody is always an ugly one (even if there isn't much of a fight and the adults are able to work something out). No matter which parent/guardian is the "winner", the children are always the losers. Their family is still split, a good ways off from where it's supposed to be, and they have to deal with so many changes. Life is naturally full of changes, but a broken family is filled with unnatural changes as well.

Of course I want them to stay with me forever. I gave birth to them. I vowed myself to them for the rest of my life. They are my babies...